20: Toots

I had plans to go to a bar called Tonic with some of my girls. The night was going great and I was ready to partake in my share of drinking and dancing at the trendy hot spot. I went up to get what I believe was my third gin and tonic--what my friends claim was my fifth--when a heard a familiar voice.
"Hey! Miss Pell!”
I turned to see Misty’s cousin, Terry the dog groomer, staring down at me. All 320 pounds of flannel wearing Terry was eagerly eyeballing me with her rough, reddish skin and Marlboro Red dangling from the side of her mouth.
"John Goodman, hey.” I was drunk and giggling and I’m not sure she understood what I just said. Plus, I was extremely shocked to see her in this type of club.
"Um…no, it’s Terry, Misty’s cousin.” She said. Maybe Terry never watched Roseanne.
"Yeah, um Terry, I need to get a drink and join my friends and pee. You have a good night.” I needed a way out. Fast.
"Wait, let me buy you a shot. Least I can do,” She offered. Who can pass up a free shot?
She bought me a jager-bomb and as soon as the bartender served it up, I quickly snatched it, downed it, and muttered a quick, “Thanks!” before I dashed away.
This was followed by Terry loudly saying, “No problem toots!”
Puzzled and feeling a vaguely violated, I double fisted the rest of that night.
The next day my friends said I was so drunk that I could barely stand. They said in the cab ride home I kept proclaiming over and over that, “John Goodman called me toots.”