#15: Malcolm's annoying chair

I was supervising a few students during their individual play time, when I heard the ear-piercing roar of our fire alarm. I immediately assumed my typical position next to the door, making sure the tards make it outside, while my aides herded them towards me.

Malcolm decided he doesn't want to go outside. The aide assisting Malcolm starts pushing him towards the door, and he immediately slams his chair into reverse. She pushes harder, the motor starts making a loud buzzing sound, and the room smells faintly of burnt oil.

I step forward and move Malcolm's finger off of the control, after this he starts rolling towards the door. The second I turn around to
check on the other tards he hits reverse again. Hearing that load motor buzz, I swing around and grab the side of Malcolm's chair, sliding his arm off the side and into his lap, making it impossible for him to hit his finger control. The aide then pushed him out the door.

Once we were outside and lined up, I put Malcolm's arm back on the side of his chair. Malcolm immediately started flying back towards the room. I grabbed his chair and held him in place, while the motor made that nice buzzing sound. Now all the teachers and their classes are staring at me holding this wheelchair tard in place while his chair is making the most horrendous buzzing sound ever.

I finally got fed up. In the hopes that he would drain his battery, I put on the manual breaks and walked back over to our classes line. Malcolm must have sat there buzzing for a good ten minutes. Finally after all the other classes went back, including ours, I took off his brakes and allowed him back into the building.

I still don't know why Malcolm wanted to be in the building so much.

#5: Antonio's Revenge

Antonio and Malcolm got back from their one day of out of school suspension today. I decided not to take the battery out of Malcolm's chair, but I made it clear to him that "your chair is a mobility device, not a weapon. You have to use it appropriately, or you will lose your privilege." I think Malcolm understood most of my message, as he didn't try ramming anyone throughout the morning. In fact, he didn't move at all unless directly told to do so by myself or one of the aides.

Sitting at my desk while the students are solving their picture problems, I suddenly hear loud tard yelling. I stand up and see
Antonio at  the other end of the room putting something in Malcolm's hair. Malcolm is flipping out and yelling, but not using his chair to get away. I walk over and find that Antonio, who bites his finger nails, has been saving his fingernails in his pocket and was now placing them in Malcolm's hair.

I grab Antonio by the arm, again, and have one of the aides take Malcolm to the nurses office to get the fingernails out of his bushy, afro-like rats nest of a haircut. I give Antonio extra work and move him to the other side of the room. Later I explain to Malcolm that he can still use his chair if he needs to get away, he just can't ram people with it. Now I'm thinking of over-charging Malcolm's chair so he can run that pain-in-the-ass Antonio over.

#1: Malcolm's Chair of Death

Let me introduce you to Malcolm. He is a retarded child with mobility issues. He can move around in a powered wheelchair by using a pointing device attached to his left finger. It is very hard for Malcolm to use his arms or legs, but he has full control of his facial muscles. He is always finding ways to do things with his mouth and tongue. I once had to pry his face off of the paper towel dispenser because he was "getting a paper towel for Leigh".

Malcolm has serious allergy problems. He is always snorting and lapping at his running nose with his tongue. He spends much of the day looking like he's trying to bite his own face and making noises like a grunting pig on speed.

Yesterday, Malcolm sneezed on Antonio. Antonio proceeded to leap several feet out of his chair and slap Malcolm across the face with his reading book. Antonio was raising the book for another swing when I grabbed his arm and yelled for one
of the aides to call the principal on the intercom.

Thinking the threat was over I turned to start escorting Antonio out. All of the sudden Malcolm rammed his wheelchair full speed into the back of Antonio's leg. He then backed up and hit him again, and was backing up a third time before I placed my foot on the arm of his electric battering ram.

Imagine this scene: I am practically dangling a tard by his arm, while fending off another wheelchair tard with my foot when the principal walks in. Needless to say I received quite a funny look from the principal. Both the boys received a one day suspension. When Malcolm comes back I think I may take the battery out of his chair.