After a day of cleaning up drool, teaching how to count to three and how to color in the lines, I went out per usual with my TA for happy hour. We went our favorite watering hole, Doogan's.
While we were there this tall, attractive man asked for my number and asked if we could have dinner the next night. I agreed. He then asked where I worked, it seemed to be rather close to his work, so he asked if he could pick me up there. I agreed. By the way, I told him I was just a K-5 teacher. Not a K-5 sped teacher.
He came by and saw my kids while we were waiting for the bus and parents to pick everyone up, and didn't seem to be bothered. After 45 minutes one kid remained, Daria. I knew her parents only lived about a mile from the school, but they tend to forget to pick her up from time to time due to their conflicting schedules.
I asked my date if we could drive her home. He said it’d be alright, although he was very hesitant. I think he could tell something was not right with her but I said nothing. As we were driving, I saw her house a few blocks down, and smiled because we were almost in the clear and she had been a perfect angel.
No sooner did I have this thought when I hear, “Hey Mister!…(giggle, giggle)….smell!”
Daria digs in her pants a lot--in her butt to be specific. I turned to see a small arm reaching from the back seat (Yes, I forgot to buckle her up, so sue me, it was a mile to her house and she was in the back seat). I then followed the line of her arm to see that she had her poop-laden finger directly under my dates nose.
He turned bright red and stared at me in horror while I laughed. We ended up going back to the same Doogan's where we had met the night before. After one drink and very little conversation on his end, he nervously said,
"Oh, I forgot, I have something to do on the other side of town, could you get a cab home if I paid for it?”
I haven’t heard from him since. It’s just tard poo, dick.
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