My school is located in a fairly rural state. We have a varying mix of metropolitan city dwellers, suburbanites, and the good ol' corn fed folk. A few of my kids come from farms or trailer courts near and/or around the city I work in.
Unfortunately, many of these same kids come from lower income households. Many of these people are poor because they do not know how to manage money. At an average house, the household income is budgeted in this hierarchy: alcohol, trailer payments, scratch off lottery tickets, and only then feeding corn to their tard children.
How do I know that corn is a staple dinner for these tards? It all happened one day when one of my tards decided that her poop wasn’t waste, it was a fun toy. Not only that, but a toy that I would enjoy playing with.
Daria comes from typical tard family background. The mother drank all through out the pregnancy, burdening Daria with fetal alcohol syndrome. Sadly, a standard issue trailer park story from around here. She is a cute girl, except for her misshapen football head and the occasional fit of rage. She actually resembles Stewie from ‘The Family Guy.’
Anyway, Daria was digging in her Wal-Mart elastic-wasted pants, which she does on a regular basis, while I was trying to teach them how to play Red Rover. I ignored her for the time being and continued explaining the game. They of course could not understand the concept of why only one person got to run over at a time.
After 20 minutes of calling a name and then stopping multi-tard stampedes, Daria’s name was finally called. When she ran by she yelled,
“Miss Pell! PWESENT!”
Who knew she had aim? Her sticky little hand fired a corn dimpled log at my face, hitting me square in the face with her poop.
I was thus presented with undeniable proof that she eats a lot of corn.
I called my assistant to come watch the kids while I picked corn and fecal matter from my face and hair for the next 30 minutes, pondered my life as a sped teacher, and decided which bar happy hour would be at that day.
No comments:
Post a Comment