Twice a marking period we have desk clean out. This is when the students have to take out everything inside their desk and throw away the stuff they don’t really need. You wouldn’t believe some of the shit that these tards have been keeping in their desk.
By far the scariest desk was Antonio’s. He doesn’t throw anything away, and because of his obsessive behavior he flips out whenever we try to explain to him that he has to get rid of it. Some of the interesting things we found in his desk include.
1. A large pile of bloody fingernails. Antonio bites his fingernails like till they bleed and he tends to hoard them in certain places. I had to get out the latex gloves to clean this mess up.
2. A large pile of chewed tard pencils. These pencils were beyond destroyed, they were compost. The shear quantity of wood and graphite that this kid must ingest could probably kill a small mammal.
3. Four rolls of toilet paper, stolen from the bathroom. When I asked Antonio why he had these, he responded “Just in case”. I mean, what kind of fucking accident, and trust me I’ve seen them all, is going to require four full rolls of toilet paper?
4. A bunch of rubber bands. These I took away immediately. [See CITE]
In the end I explained to Antonio that he should only keep assignments, paper, and pencils in his desk. I then took away all his stuff and gave him two new pencils. I doubt they will make it to the end of the day.
Showing posts with label Antonio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Antonio. Show all posts
Monday, November 9, 2015
#12: Macaroni Fiasco:
I had the tards make macaroni pictures today. They make thousands of these things as they progress through the elementary school special needs program.
Despite that, most of them still have a lot of trouble getting the general concept. I'll usually end of with one or two students who don't use glue, and a few who don't use macaroni. The pictures they make are so open to interpretation you could use them as a Rorschach test.
The arts and crafts time was progressing as normal, in essence, the tards were yelling occasionally, getting frustrated and ripping up their pictures, or just staring at the big Tupperware bowl of macaroni.
I was circling the table calming them down and encouraging them to participate, when Kunte, who had been in the bathroom, started walking back towards the table. He saw Antonio taking pieces of macaroni off of his drying picture. Kunte yelled "MINE!" and started running towards the table. The table was only five or six little tard steps away, but after about three steps Kunte tripped over his own feet. He came crashing down face first on table, covering himself in glue and macaroni, and toppling the table, macaroni, and glue all over the floor. Antonio pulls his macaroni picture out from under Kunte and starts hitting him with it.
Picture this scene: One screaming tard covered in glue, pasta, and cardboard convulsing on my classroom floor, while another tard beats him with a rolled up, half dry macaroni picture. As this happens, the rest of the tards, even the ones who were just staring at the macaroni bowl, are now screaming, crying, jumping up and down, or trying to hide under the table.
My aides calmed down most of the bystanders. I pulled Kunte off the table and got his change of clothes (yes, we keep a change of clothes for all the tards) out of my cabinet. I punished Antonio for hitting by telling him he had to clean up all the loose macaroni. Because of his obsessive nature, this is appropriate punishment for him, as having to deal with that kind of disorder drives him crazy.
Despite that, most of them still have a lot of trouble getting the general concept. I'll usually end of with one or two students who don't use glue, and a few who don't use macaroni. The pictures they make are so open to interpretation you could use them as a Rorschach test.
The arts and crafts time was progressing as normal, in essence, the tards were yelling occasionally, getting frustrated and ripping up their pictures, or just staring at the big Tupperware bowl of macaroni.
I was circling the table calming them down and encouraging them to participate, when Kunte, who had been in the bathroom, started walking back towards the table. He saw Antonio taking pieces of macaroni off of his drying picture. Kunte yelled "MINE!" and started running towards the table. The table was only five or six little tard steps away, but after about three steps Kunte tripped over his own feet. He came crashing down face first on table, covering himself in glue and macaroni, and toppling the table, macaroni, and glue all over the floor. Antonio pulls his macaroni picture out from under Kunte and starts hitting him with it.
Picture this scene: One screaming tard covered in glue, pasta, and cardboard convulsing on my classroom floor, while another tard beats him with a rolled up, half dry macaroni picture. As this happens, the rest of the tards, even the ones who were just staring at the macaroni bowl, are now screaming, crying, jumping up and down, or trying to hide under the table.
My aides calmed down most of the bystanders. I pulled Kunte off the table and got his change of clothes (yes, we keep a change of clothes for all the tards) out of my cabinet. I punished Antonio for hitting by telling him he had to clean up all the loose macaroni. Because of his obsessive nature, this is appropriate punishment for him, as having to deal with that kind of disorder drives him crazy.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
#5: Antonio's Revenge
Antonio and Malcolm got back from their one day of out of school suspension today. I decided not to take the battery out of Malcolm's chair, but I made it clear to him that "your chair is a mobility device, not a weapon. You have to use it appropriately, or you will lose your privilege." I think Malcolm understood most of my message, as he didn't try ramming anyone throughout the morning. In fact, he didn't move at all unless directly told to do so by myself or one of the aides.
Sitting at my desk while the students are solving their picture problems, I suddenly hear loud tard yelling. I stand up and see
Antonio at the other end of the room putting something in Malcolm's hair. Malcolm is flipping out and yelling, but not using his chair to get away. I walk over and find that Antonio, who bites his finger nails, has been saving his fingernails in his pocket and was now placing them in Malcolm's hair.
I grab Antonio by the arm, again, and have one of the aides take Malcolm to the nurses office to get the fingernails out of his bushy, afro-like rats nest of a haircut. I give Antonio extra work and move him to the other side of the room. Later I explain to Malcolm that he can still use his chair if he needs to get away, he just can't ram people with it. Now I'm thinking of over-charging Malcolm's chair so he can run that pain-in-the-ass Antonio over.
Sitting at my desk while the students are solving their picture problems, I suddenly hear loud tard yelling. I stand up and see
Antonio at the other end of the room putting something in Malcolm's hair. Malcolm is flipping out and yelling, but not using his chair to get away. I walk over and find that Antonio, who bites his finger nails, has been saving his fingernails in his pocket and was now placing them in Malcolm's hair.
I grab Antonio by the arm, again, and have one of the aides take Malcolm to the nurses office to get the fingernails out of his bushy, afro-like rats nest of a haircut. I give Antonio extra work and move him to the other side of the room. Later I explain to Malcolm that he can still use his chair if he needs to get away, he just can't ram people with it. Now I'm thinking of over-charging Malcolm's chair so he can run that pain-in-the-ass Antonio over.
#1: Malcolm's Chair of Death
Let me introduce you to Malcolm. He is a retarded child with mobility issues. He can move around in a powered wheelchair by using a pointing device attached to his left finger. It is very hard for Malcolm to use his arms or legs, but he has full control of his facial muscles. He is always finding ways to do things with his mouth and tongue. I once had to pry his face off of the paper towel dispenser because he was "getting a paper towel for Leigh".
Malcolm has serious allergy problems. He is always snorting and lapping at his running nose with his tongue. He spends much of the day looking like he's trying to bite his own face and making noises like a grunting pig on speed.
Yesterday, Malcolm sneezed on Antonio. Antonio proceeded to leap several feet out of his chair and slap Malcolm across the face with his reading book. Antonio was raising the book for another swing when I grabbed his arm and yelled for one
of the aides to call the principal on the intercom.
Thinking the threat was over I turned to start escorting Antonio out. All of the sudden Malcolm rammed his wheelchair full speed into the back of Antonio's leg. He then backed up and hit him again, and was backing up a third time before I placed my foot on the arm of his electric battering ram.
Imagine this scene: I am practically dangling a tard by his arm, while fending off another wheelchair tard with my foot when the principal walks in. Needless to say I received quite a funny look from the principal. Both the boys received a one day suspension. When Malcolm comes back I think I may take the battery out of his chair.
Malcolm has serious allergy problems. He is always snorting and lapping at his running nose with his tongue. He spends much of the day looking like he's trying to bite his own face and making noises like a grunting pig on speed.
Yesterday, Malcolm sneezed on Antonio. Antonio proceeded to leap several feet out of his chair and slap Malcolm across the face with his reading book. Antonio was raising the book for another swing when I grabbed his arm and yelled for one
of the aides to call the principal on the intercom.
Thinking the threat was over I turned to start escorting Antonio out. All of the sudden Malcolm rammed his wheelchair full speed into the back of Antonio's leg. He then backed up and hit him again, and was backing up a third time before I placed my foot on the arm of his electric battering ram.
Imagine this scene: I am practically dangling a tard by his arm, while fending off another wheelchair tard with my foot when the principal walks in. Needless to say I received quite a funny look from the principal. Both the boys received a one day suspension. When Malcolm comes back I think I may take the battery out of his chair.
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