Sunday, November 8, 2015

3: I can't eat at McDonald's anymore

Today was a special day for my kids. At the end of every month, they have a review. If they improved in any way, i.e. they learned how to color, or learned how say the name of a color correctly, or just don't grab their genitals in class, then we all go to McDonald’s for Happy Meals.

This month everyone did well in standards, so we planned a trip to McDonald’s for Wednesday. We always go around 10:30 since we don’t want to hold the line for lunch up.

One kid in particular, Erik, spends large amounts of time repeating, “Ma…don…al” and not saying what he wants. The conversation typically goes like this:

Me: “Chicken nuggets or a hamburger..”
Erik: “Ma…don…al”
Me: “Yes it is, now do you want chicken or cow?”
Erik: “Ma…don….al.”
Me: “You can’t eat Ronald, it’s either chicken or cow.”
Anni: “Look….milking!” (as she squeezes her nippies)

Today went more smoothly…except for Stevie passing gas at the front on the line. I had to take a 5-minute break from ordering and the manager had to spray deodorizer. It was that bad. It was the very worst thing I had ever smelled in my life.

Imagine a kid in a wheel chair that just drools and can’t pronounce words, he can only point. His breakfast usually consists of those protein/vitamin milk drinks and some kind of bran muffin. (he sometimes has constipation problems). Now imagine the bran and milk leaving his body in gas form, and occasionally, in pungent liquid form.

This stench was so bad it caused many customers and a few employees to vacate the restaurant and has ruined me on McDonald’s since.

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