8: Brownie Bites

Since fall is right around the corner and the chill is evident in the morning air, I decided to let the kids play games outside today. Before we went outside, we had lunch. Today Sara’s mom packed her a turkey sandwich (no mayo Sara announced) and carrot sticks instead of these brownie bites she usually has.

After Sara cried and had a tantrum for about 20 minutes upon finding this sub-par lunch, she finally sat down at her desk and inhaled her lunch. I think she chewed twice. We decided what games to play outside and I released them.

It was so nice out that I decided to bring Tucker Max’s book out with me for some entertainment. As I read, I casually scanned the grounds after every other paragraph, making sure the kids were all behaving.

I saw Jay and Anni doing some animal impression, but as long as they weren’t hooking the vacuum up to her it was fine. Then I saw Sara sitting on the grass near the fence, by herself, picking at stuff. I figured she was still upset about having to eat carrot sticks today, so I let her be.

After 45 minutes I called the class together and we went inside. We were settled in and about to read a book when I heard Misty speak up from the back. “Miss Pell, Sara isn’t sharing her treats.” I went to the back to see what Sara was doing. When I got to her desk, I saw three hard cylindrical objects sitting on her desk. By the smell alone, I knew immediately what they were.

Sara had three hardened dog turds sitting on her desk. From the looks, I’d say they came from a shih-tzu or some medium sized dog in the toy group. [Now while I tell this last part, remember I just saw dog crap on the kids desk and in my mind I was running over the vision of her sitting and picking at stuff near the fence just minutes before, so my late reaction is justified]

Bright eyed Sara looks at me and says, “I found my brownie bites” and no shit, the kid popped one in her mouth like it was, well…a brownie bite.

OH MY GOD!

I didn’t know what to do. I stood frozen in horror as I watched her chew and ingest the canine fecal matter with the look of content and ecstasy on her plump face. She’d been outside eating turds for a half hour already, what could one more do?

I quickly snagged the other two and threw them away. I didn’t know what to do, so I called her to the front of the room, gave her a couple tic tacs, and tried to forget what.