Although there are the corn fed kids that make up my class, there are also the random ones who, instead of coming from the Old Crowe guzzling NASCAR families, come from the absentee father and the Bombay Gin soaked Karen Walker type mother--whose drinking problems developed AFTER the birth of the tard.
On that note, let me introduce Boo. Boo’s real name is Bill but he can’t get the “L” sound to work so he (and his mother) insist we call him Boo. Boo can only be described by the word, “floppy”.
His daily attire is plus-sized Ralph Lauren clothes. I did not even know Ralph Lauren made plus sized children's clothes until I met him. And he stinks like body odor and hot fart, with a hint of baby powder that his nanny sprinkles on his inner thighs. She does this because he has a constant rash between his thighs because he is fat and his large sweaty thighs chafe when he walks
One Monday afternoon when everyone was out for recess, Boo had to stay indoors on account of his allergies. I was enjoying a nice lunch and the rare moment of peace and quiet until I heard a noise that could only be described as a wet smacking sound. When I looked to see where the sound was coming from, there was Boo, in the corner, naked from the waist down, rolling around on the ground, grinning from ear to ear, smacking his enormous thighs together shouting,
“Yay! Yay! Yay!”
Apparently it felt good on his rash. Needless to say my lunch was promptly discarded and I will never be able to eat vanilla yogurt again.
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